Christmas is an annual holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus. This celebration clashes with a visit to children from Santa Claus. It's a very busy time for suburban housewives, and it's very easy to lose sight of what the Spirit of Christmas is all about. Distractions include endless rounds of office parties, all of which seemingly cannot be held without Mr Q; supermarkets forcing us into overeating with non-stop advertising; and frenzied scenes in shopping centres all over the country as we wantonly part with our cash to buy presents for people who probably already have enough clutter in their lives. A Dutch friend who lived here for several years, but only spent one Christmas in the country, remarked quite seriously that the endless queues and empty shelves reminded her of Russia during the Communist era.
Following last year's disaster (broken leg and sick children), we are definitely staying at home for Christmas Day. As soon as we reached that decision Mr Q assumed that the rest would look after itself. Wine Goose is therefore left to look after card writing and sending, menu planning, present buying, tree decoration, school baking etc etc etc. All that in addition as the usual day to day running of the household, not forgetting her part-time job in a busy wine shop. All he had to do was complain about how much he hates Christmas and how busy a time it is for him. Withering look.
In anticipation of the 'which wine is best with turkey' question I have conducted a bit of research into the subject, and unfortunately have to report that the so-called experts all have different suggestions ranging from Rhone Whites through Riesling to New Zealand Pinot Noir. My own feeling is that turkey alone is an ideal match for a crisp Burgundy Chablis. But the turkey that we eat at Christmas Dinner is not a simple dish, and therefore it is a reasonable rule of thumb that you increase the 'weight' of the wine according to additional flavours on your plate. Consider a Macon or a Meursault to tackle the additional flavours of stuffing, sprouts, bread sauce and gravy. If you insist on red (and let's face it most of us do), it is advisable to go for something light or juicy such as a Fleurie with a simpler meal, moving up to Pinot Noir (either Burgundian or the fuller flavoured New Zealand version) or even a plummy Merlot dominated Bordeaux (St Emilion or Pomerol) as you add the trimmings. If you are a fan of tannic Cabernet Sauvignons I suggest you consider goose for your meal (sob) as it has a higher fat content and requires a more robust wine to counter its flavours.
Other tips include tipping the bottle of sherry that's been lurking at the back of the cupboard down the drain and investing in a dry manzanilla. Serve chilled with nibbles. Don't serve anything other than smoked salmon on brown bread with Champagne. Salted snacks ruin the fine flavours. Decant red wines. A jug will do, all it needs is some air to allow the flavours to develop. Change to a dessert wine as soon as you serve Christmas Pudding as the sweetness of the dessert will cause the wine flavours to taste bitter. As an alternative to port consider Recioto della Valpolicella, a traditional Italian dessert wine with excellent concentration. It also matches well with hard cheeses so you can polish off the rest of the bottle as you enjoy the escapades in Killinascully.
Mr Q has not yet decided which wine will accompany our Christmas dinner. Wine Goose is pushing for Felton Road Pinot Noir 2001, an elegant, smooth wine, with intense fruit flavours, and a long, long finish. Price continues to creep up (Felton Road is to Pinot Noir what Cloudy Bay was to Marlborough). €38.95.
Tuesday, 18 December 2007
Friday, 7 December 2007
Christmas Shopping
This, I have decided, is the year that Wine Goose is going be fully organised by Christmas Day.
In previous years I have had several memorable mishaps, including seeing our daughter risk brain damage by pulling a set of Christmas lights from a top shelf in a packed Department Store onto her not-as-yet fully closed fontanels. Then there was the year I had to squeeze my car into the last available space in the supermarket car park. It was so narrow that I could only open the doors on one side, so had to unstrap my daughter, put her in the shopping trolley, get back into the car and move it closer to the other white line, before unstrapping my son and putting him into the trolley.
Not for me the mania of large shopping centres and last-minute madness. As I keep hearing that the Internet has revolutionised our lives, this year I'm going to put that theory to the test. I start by 'checking and reserving' a relatively easy process. I simply key the necessary catalogue codes into the Argos website, check the availability of each item, and reserve it in a store of my choice. Trouble arises when 'in stock' items can only be reserved for collection within 24 hours, and 'currently out of stock' items can only be reserved for some days in advance. In order to avoid two journeys to my store of choice (located in a shopping centre that time forgot, thanks to the arrival of a massive 'Town Centre' some years ago), I reserve the 'out of stock items' and return to the website 2 days later to reserve the (hopefully still) in stock items. Pat on the back for being so clever.
Mr Q has requested an ice-bucket for his bar. Some years ago I suggested converting our garage into a Playroom. He clearly had other plans and days later arrived home with a large screen TV and fold up bar. It was surely justice that he subsequently slipped on a toy in the hall and broke his leg. The children now have a Playroom and the bar sits uselessly in a corner of our Family Room, waiting for an ice-bucket to adorn it. Initial searches of department store websites are disappointing and expensive, so in a lightbulb moment I click onto that old reliable, E-Bay. My search returns 183 matches. The choice is too vast. I am married to the man but to know if he prefers vintage to silver ice-buckets is to know too much. I decide to email him the link and let the purchase be his Christmas present to himself.
Our son has requested a violin. Whereas he may one day be a great musician, I feel his initial efforts should be on an electronic version, not least so that we don't have to listen to erk erk erk 24/7 over the holidays. Local searches return no matches so I go global. http://www.google.com/. There is just no avoiding it. Lots of American toy sites have electronic violins, they have electronic violins at good prices. Want to ship them to Ireland? That will cost you a minimum of $75.00 ma'am. I put that purchase on the long finger and move onto the much more pleasurable pastime of surfing for me.
After first ensuring that nothing major is happening on the news front, I decide to check the price of Creme de la Mer eye cream, persuaded by a recent article in a woman's magazine that it will take 10 years off my face. Prohibitive prices and a few so-so reviews put me off, but a link which purportedly reviews top eye creams catches my eye and I click onto ConsumerHealthDigest.com. Their recommendation is a product called Eyevive, it's effectiveness supported by an article written by an expert, a first placing in the 'top eye creams chart', and customer success stories. I know that what I really should have done is checked if Consumer Health Digest is for real, or if it just exists to encourage suckers like me to part with our cash but I am so carried away by the thought of what Eyevive can do for me that I add it to my cart. Click. I manage to resist today's super special - buy 3 and get a 4th free (with difficulty) but can't resist 'saving' $32.00 by adding a vial of Dermaxin, another previously unheard of product. This is a miracle cream which will rejuvenate my beauty. Which is weaker, I hear you ask, Wine Goose or the dollar? It's important to understand that by now I am no longer sitting at a computer desk in a tracksuit. Rather I am teetering around a cosmetic store in a pencil skirt and a pair of $800.00 Manolo Blahnik heels. Proceed to checkout? Click. I reach a carefully manicured hand into the trolley and present my products to a clearly impressed checkout chick. I use my paypal account to complete the purchase, so don't even have to rummage in my handbag for a credit card.
My subsequent mornings at the computer screen are regularly interrupted by the soft thud of a small package landing in the hall, or a ring at the doorbell, as a courier company delivers a parcel. It feels just like Christmas.
I do eventually find a violin on ebay. When it arrives, is no bigger than my fist. My credit card bill when it arrives is very high.
What to drink when surfing - nothing stronger than a cup of coffee.
In previous years I have had several memorable mishaps, including seeing our daughter risk brain damage by pulling a set of Christmas lights from a top shelf in a packed Department Store onto her not-as-yet fully closed fontanels. Then there was the year I had to squeeze my car into the last available space in the supermarket car park. It was so narrow that I could only open the doors on one side, so had to unstrap my daughter, put her in the shopping trolley, get back into the car and move it closer to the other white line, before unstrapping my son and putting him into the trolley.
Not for me the mania of large shopping centres and last-minute madness. As I keep hearing that the Internet has revolutionised our lives, this year I'm going to put that theory to the test. I start by 'checking and reserving' a relatively easy process. I simply key the necessary catalogue codes into the Argos website, check the availability of each item, and reserve it in a store of my choice. Trouble arises when 'in stock' items can only be reserved for collection within 24 hours, and 'currently out of stock' items can only be reserved for some days in advance. In order to avoid two journeys to my store of choice (located in a shopping centre that time forgot, thanks to the arrival of a massive 'Town Centre' some years ago), I reserve the 'out of stock items' and return to the website 2 days later to reserve the (hopefully still) in stock items. Pat on the back for being so clever.
Mr Q has requested an ice-bucket for his bar. Some years ago I suggested converting our garage into a Playroom. He clearly had other plans and days later arrived home with a large screen TV and fold up bar. It was surely justice that he subsequently slipped on a toy in the hall and broke his leg. The children now have a Playroom and the bar sits uselessly in a corner of our Family Room, waiting for an ice-bucket to adorn it. Initial searches of department store websites are disappointing and expensive, so in a lightbulb moment I click onto that old reliable, E-Bay. My search returns 183 matches. The choice is too vast. I am married to the man but to know if he prefers vintage to silver ice-buckets is to know too much. I decide to email him the link and let the purchase be his Christmas present to himself.
Our son has requested a violin. Whereas he may one day be a great musician, I feel his initial efforts should be on an electronic version, not least so that we don't have to listen to erk erk erk 24/7 over the holidays. Local searches return no matches so I go global. http://www.google.com/. There is just no avoiding it. Lots of American toy sites have electronic violins, they have electronic violins at good prices. Want to ship them to Ireland? That will cost you a minimum of $75.00 ma'am. I put that purchase on the long finger and move onto the much more pleasurable pastime of surfing for me.
After first ensuring that nothing major is happening on the news front, I decide to check the price of Creme de la Mer eye cream, persuaded by a recent article in a woman's magazine that it will take 10 years off my face. Prohibitive prices and a few so-so reviews put me off, but a link which purportedly reviews top eye creams catches my eye and I click onto ConsumerHealthDigest.com. Their recommendation is a product called Eyevive, it's effectiveness supported by an article written by an expert, a first placing in the 'top eye creams chart', and customer success stories. I know that what I really should have done is checked if Consumer Health Digest is for real, or if it just exists to encourage suckers like me to part with our cash but I am so carried away by the thought of what Eyevive can do for me that I add it to my cart. Click. I manage to resist today's super special - buy 3 and get a 4th free (with difficulty) but can't resist 'saving' $32.00 by adding a vial of Dermaxin, another previously unheard of product. This is a miracle cream which will rejuvenate my beauty. Which is weaker, I hear you ask, Wine Goose or the dollar? It's important to understand that by now I am no longer sitting at a computer desk in a tracksuit. Rather I am teetering around a cosmetic store in a pencil skirt and a pair of $800.00 Manolo Blahnik heels. Proceed to checkout? Click. I reach a carefully manicured hand into the trolley and present my products to a clearly impressed checkout chick. I use my paypal account to complete the purchase, so don't even have to rummage in my handbag for a credit card.
My subsequent mornings at the computer screen are regularly interrupted by the soft thud of a small package landing in the hall, or a ring at the doorbell, as a courier company delivers a parcel. It feels just like Christmas.
I do eventually find a violin on ebay. When it arrives, is no bigger than my fist. My credit card bill when it arrives is very high.
What to drink when surfing - nothing stronger than a cup of coffee.
Friday, 30 November 2007
Ritz-Carlton
Wine Goose didn't pay much attention to all the media hype surrounding the opening of Ireland's latest 'uber hotel' as she did not for one moment think she would be gracing the establishment with her presence in this decade or the next. So imagine her surprise and delight when Mr Q arrived home from work one evening and presented her with a couple of invitations to a posh Black Tie Ball taking place in The Ritz-Carlton Powerscourt Hotel.
A lady's normal reaction when presented with this sort of invitation is not an enthusiastic "you're wonderful darling, I'm looking forward to the evening already" or even a lukewarm "that's great but I'm not sure if the babysitter is free." It is of course "what am I going to wear?" And what am I going to wear? A quick call to the Personal Shopper outlining my requirements (elegant, stunning, slimming, different) ensues, and an appointment is made. But there will be more to this evening than just a nice dress - legs must be smooth, skin must be golden, face must be glowing and dewy, nails must be professionally polished, hair must shine. That's another five appointments and all must be fitted in around the children's hectic timetable.
The last time Wine Goose attended a black tie event having golden skin required 10 sessions on a sunbed. Nowadays the same look can be achieved in less than 30 minutes with spray tan. The victim simply strips down to a pair of disposable knickers (pushing memories of childbirth firmly aside), stands in a booth, and allows a 'bronzing professional' to air-brush her with a potion that seemingly eliminates the need for a fortnights holiday each year. Some drawbacks of course, which my professional points out as she instructs me to rotate my body, lift my arms/legs, or puff out my cheeks. No bath for the children tonight - any splashes on my arms will result in giveaway white circles; the potion smells horrible and can't be washed off for 8 hours or the exercise will have been futile; most importantly the potions adheres to clothes, sheets and just about everything you come in contact with before you're allowed to wash it off, tanning them also. A manicure on the same day is also out - the clash of potions results in some unimaginable hand discolouration.
It's been worth all the effort I decide as I tape myself into my dress that evening. Underwear has changed a lot too, no more miles of straps circling the body in order of avoid one crossing the back. Mr Q and I whizz down the N11 in the comfort of a chauffeur driven car and shortly arrive at the hotel. It's dark so the Palladian inspired architectural features are lost on us. There are excessive numbers of staff waiting to greet us and revolve us into the lobby, which is massive and therefore impressive, all dark wood and chandeliers. The sweeping staircase leads us down to a bar set up outside the Ballroom. I like my Function Rooms to be on the ground floor so am a little uneasy. Once underground the low ceilings add further to this feeling. I join in the chat, all of which centres on the hotel itself. The name Gordon Ramsay pops up frequently, in typical Irish style his restaurant has been booked up on weekends for a year in advance. During a lull in conversation I professionally swirl the white wine in my glass before tasting. It is a perfectly acceptable Sauvignon Blanc, probably Chilean I decide.
Black dresses abound, as do rugby types, all slapping each other on the back and addressing each other by embarrassing schoolboy nicknames, like Slasher, or Micko, or Bazzer. But the atmosphere is good as we are ushered into the Ballroom. Lots of oohs and aahs from the ladies and feigned appreciative concurring from their men. First impressions are that there is a lot of glass hanging from the ceiling, and that the ceiling is indeed very low. There don't appear to be any windows, but as it is night-time I can't be sure. During the earlier chat I learned that the hotel lobby is actually on the fourth floor, as the hotel has seven stories on one side and four on the other. Confused? So am I. The tables are as immaculately dressed as the ladies, the service is second to none, the food and wine are acceptable. The red is heralded as 'Mademoiselle L 2004' but no further information is given. Later research reveals it to be a Bordeaux (Haut Medoc AOC). I got the country right but would not have thought it was a Claret. I was however right about the white - CasaBlanca from Chile.
The conversation flows and there is lots of witty banter, but it is difficult to compete with the flashiness of our surroundings. So I start to wonder if venues nowadays have developed to the point that the occupants are almost superfluous, and are in most cases overwhelmed by the decor, to the extent that they can't compete, but almost take a back seat in the proceedings. Then all that anyone can remember the next day is the 'Magnificent Ballroom'. A sorry state of affairs in Ireland, where conversation was so long king. Mr Q and I take our leave just as things are hotting up, the fate of most parents of young children. On our way out a member of staff offers to show us the Gordon Ramsay Restaurant. It's another very impressive room, although much more restrained. Weather permitting, a meal on the balcony would surely be memorable. Failing that, there are a handful of tables situated by the window which would be acceptable, but it would be a terrible pity to plan a special night out find yourself in no mans land in the middle of the floor.
Comfort food was required the following day, so Wine Goose served Tagliatelle Carbonara, complemented by a bottle of Bertani Valpolicella Valpaltena Secco. This is a wonderfully complex and concentrated ripasso bursting with spice and walnut aromas and flavours. €14.99
Friday, 16 November 2007
Back to Work - Part 1
Tommy Tiernan, or perhaps it was Ed Byrne once said that "a career is what a car does when it's going off the road". As someone who has had a chequered career to say the least, Wine Goose thinks this is a masterful observation. Mr Q, on the other hand, has steadily climbed the career ladder since his first day in junior infants, and would dismiss this statement as trite. Since the arrival of the children, if questioned on the subject, I generally tell people that I have put my career 'on hold'. As if I could walk back into my old job after however many years, find everything suspended in time, and take up where I left off. Time waits for no woman. When faced with the reality of sleepless nights, endless feeding and nappy changes, I quickly realised that the act of combining all that with rushing out to work was best left to others. Mr Q snored through most of this period, sometimes enquiring how my night had been, but showing no signs of listening to the response. Each morning he donned a tailored suit with perfectly pressed shirt and tie, and swanned out the door to his important job.
And so, decision made, I stayed at home and concentrated on my role as a mother. Of course, there were times when I envied Mr Q as he walked out the door to escape the bedlam and wondered if I'd made the right decision. But we all muddled along and I was there for the important moments that 'working moms' miss out on, like the first smile and the first step. As someone once said to me during that period 'some of the days can seem very long but the years go by very quickly'.
Then all of a sudden five years have gone by and the kids are slightly less dependent on me, and Mr Q can now scramble eggs, so I can get out of the house for a few hours without having to write out pages of instructions, and I start wondering if I'll ever go back to work again. And if I do take that massive leap, what on earth am I going to do? Clearly, returning to my old job is out of the question. Not that much will have changed, but I have, and the time demands it placed on me are no longer an option.
Faced with a blank canvas, it's almost like being back in 5th form, when the Careers Master asked us to write out three choices in order of preference. Except that this time I won't be listing interpreter, translator or actor. Instead I'm more thinking Charity Queen. Although perhaps Ireland has enough of them, and the demands of being constantly photographed in a different dress with different make-up at a different Ball don't really seem all that charitable. Maybe politics then. So I consider joining the Green Party. I compost, I recycle, I abhor gas guzzlers. But do I really want to go out late at night knocking at doors, then down the road see my life being scrutinised by the media and have to dodge awkward questions about whether or not I inhaled. No I don't. Slightly disillusioned, and seeing my choice quickly narrowing down, so that the only real option is to become the middle-aged lady in accounts, I notice a small ad in the window of my local wine shop. 'Part time staff required - apply within.' Bravely I march in and spend some time browsing the shelves, for once focused more on the customer service than the job in hand - that of finding a passable bottle. Because wine critics always seem to consider Riesling a cut above the rest I pick up a bottle of Whitehaven Riesling 2005 and march up to the counter, where I mention to the Manager that I've noticed the ad. He's pleased, firstly congratulating me on my excellent taste in wine, then telling me that all he's looking for is somebody to help out on Saturday afternoons. When can I start? Next week.....
Incidentally I found the floral-petrol combination of the Whitehaven a little too exotic, but perhaps in time I will eschew all other grapes in favour of Riesling.
And so, decision made, I stayed at home and concentrated on my role as a mother. Of course, there were times when I envied Mr Q as he walked out the door to escape the bedlam and wondered if I'd made the right decision. But we all muddled along and I was there for the important moments that 'working moms' miss out on, like the first smile and the first step. As someone once said to me during that period 'some of the days can seem very long but the years go by very quickly'.
Then all of a sudden five years have gone by and the kids are slightly less dependent on me, and Mr Q can now scramble eggs, so I can get out of the house for a few hours without having to write out pages of instructions, and I start wondering if I'll ever go back to work again. And if I do take that massive leap, what on earth am I going to do? Clearly, returning to my old job is out of the question. Not that much will have changed, but I have, and the time demands it placed on me are no longer an option.
Faced with a blank canvas, it's almost like being back in 5th form, when the Careers Master asked us to write out three choices in order of preference. Except that this time I won't be listing interpreter, translator or actor. Instead I'm more thinking Charity Queen. Although perhaps Ireland has enough of them, and the demands of being constantly photographed in a different dress with different make-up at a different Ball don't really seem all that charitable. Maybe politics then. So I consider joining the Green Party. I compost, I recycle, I abhor gas guzzlers. But do I really want to go out late at night knocking at doors, then down the road see my life being scrutinised by the media and have to dodge awkward questions about whether or not I inhaled. No I don't. Slightly disillusioned, and seeing my choice quickly narrowing down, so that the only real option is to become the middle-aged lady in accounts, I notice a small ad in the window of my local wine shop. 'Part time staff required - apply within.' Bravely I march in and spend some time browsing the shelves, for once focused more on the customer service than the job in hand - that of finding a passable bottle. Because wine critics always seem to consider Riesling a cut above the rest I pick up a bottle of Whitehaven Riesling 2005 and march up to the counter, where I mention to the Manager that I've noticed the ad. He's pleased, firstly congratulating me on my excellent taste in wine, then telling me that all he's looking for is somebody to help out on Saturday afternoons. When can I start? Next week.....
Incidentally I found the floral-petrol combination of the Whitehaven a little too exotic, but perhaps in time I will eschew all other grapes in favour of Riesling.
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
BodyPump
BodyPump is an off putting name for a fitness class. Surely BodySuck would have more appeal to Wine Goose and her ilk. This body does indeed look like a pump has been inserted and sufficient air pumped in via the navel to add a wheel to the midriff. Is the class intended to accentuate this look? Surely not. Research reveals that "the workout challenges all your major muscle groups by using the best weight-room exercises like squats, presses, lifts and curls. Great music, awesome instructors and your choice of weight inspire you to get the results you came for – and fast!" Sounds like just my kind of thing.
During my years in the wilderness, by which I mean the years during which I never did anything without a child or two in tow, I regularly fantasised about going to a fitness class. Now that I have a few free mornings each week I do my best to avoid going to a fitness class. Today I have run out of excuses, so there is no alternative but to resurrect my aerobics gear and pump my body. Forcing a bit of enthusiasm, I jump in the car and immediately get stuck in traffic. The temptation to turn back is almost unbearable but I carry on, then circle the car park in the vain hope of not finding a space. All this procrastination means that I arrive late and have to rush into the class. Showing up red-faced, puffing and panting before I've even challenged one muscle group is not the ideal start. The 'studio' in which the class is to take place is full to capacity with toned bodies in designer workout gear. That is no surprise, but what on earth are they doing? Zigzagging from corner to corner they each gather a strange array of poles, weights, clips, steps, risers and mats, which they then assemble into those barbells that you see weightlifters at the Olympics struggle to raise above their thighs, grunting and groaning in the process. I gamely join in the frenzy, but despite my recent years doing jigsaw puzzles the task is too much and I have to ask the awesome instructor's help.
The instructor is a man, so there's a lot more prancing and giggling than would be considered correct from this group of ladies. His name is vaguely foreign sounding, something like Antonio or Marco. His accent is not country specific, but rather an artificial antipodean mid-Atlantic cross. His body has been pumped in all the right places - small pockets of air inserted into biceps, triceps and quads to give a beefy, sculpted finish. Add 2 pints of beer and I'll bet he transforms into Anto or Mark from de nort side.
"This your first class?" he asks, just loud enough for everyone to hear. I turn redder and stammer a reply. Because I have arrived late all the prime places at the back of the room have been taken but I refuse point blank to stand at the front of this crowd, so instead shoehorn myself into a gap right at the entrance to the store-room. While my equipment is being assembled by instructoro I use the opportunity to take a better look around the room. Horror or horrors, I spot the glamorous blonde mother of four from across the road. "Hi there" she waves, before returning to checking her make-up in the mirror. Swivelling my head ever so slightly I encounter another familiar face, and another, and another. Something about their body language tells me this is not their first time. That's fine. We all have to start somewhere and I've moved on from the stage in my life where losing 2 lbs is going to make all the difference.
On to the warm up and it goes like this: "First we adopt the set position of standing upright with great posture, heels under hips with the toes turned out slightly. The tummy is held in tight, the chest is proud with the shoulders down and back and knees are soft… Then we do shortened versions of each of the main exercises to follow, warming up all the major muscle groups and preparing the body for the workout ahead." So far so good. Instructoro then suggests doubling our weights for targeting the next muscle group. I do, and almost collapse 'whilst adopting the start position.' After about fifteen minutes it becomes less of a workout and more of a clock watching exercise. One excruciating hour later we are released. I all but fall out of the room, carefully avoid the chatter in the changing room, as speech is temporarily beyond me, shower and head for the restaurant, where I fully intend to reward myself with coffee and cake. There is a staircase to be negotiated and as soon as I lift my right foot I just know the class has had the desired effect. I alternatively drift and float until I arrive at the bottom, mercifully still in the upright position. Then, tummy tight and chest proud I deny myself that cake, march past the latte sipping ladies, and collapse into my car.
Tonight I will get my reward. The best wine match for chocolate? Port of course, or impress with the lesser known Banyuls, a red wine made of Grenache in the Languedoc Roussillon region of Southwest France.
During my years in the wilderness, by which I mean the years during which I never did anything without a child or two in tow, I regularly fantasised about going to a fitness class. Now that I have a few free mornings each week I do my best to avoid going to a fitness class. Today I have run out of excuses, so there is no alternative but to resurrect my aerobics gear and pump my body. Forcing a bit of enthusiasm, I jump in the car and immediately get stuck in traffic. The temptation to turn back is almost unbearable but I carry on, then circle the car park in the vain hope of not finding a space. All this procrastination means that I arrive late and have to rush into the class. Showing up red-faced, puffing and panting before I've even challenged one muscle group is not the ideal start. The 'studio' in which the class is to take place is full to capacity with toned bodies in designer workout gear. That is no surprise, but what on earth are they doing? Zigzagging from corner to corner they each gather a strange array of poles, weights, clips, steps, risers and mats, which they then assemble into those barbells that you see weightlifters at the Olympics struggle to raise above their thighs, grunting and groaning in the process. I gamely join in the frenzy, but despite my recent years doing jigsaw puzzles the task is too much and I have to ask the awesome instructor's help.
The instructor is a man, so there's a lot more prancing and giggling than would be considered correct from this group of ladies. His name is vaguely foreign sounding, something like Antonio or Marco. His accent is not country specific, but rather an artificial antipodean mid-Atlantic cross. His body has been pumped in all the right places - small pockets of air inserted into biceps, triceps and quads to give a beefy, sculpted finish. Add 2 pints of beer and I'll bet he transforms into Anto or Mark from de nort side.
"This your first class?" he asks, just loud enough for everyone to hear. I turn redder and stammer a reply. Because I have arrived late all the prime places at the back of the room have been taken but I refuse point blank to stand at the front of this crowd, so instead shoehorn myself into a gap right at the entrance to the store-room. While my equipment is being assembled by instructoro I use the opportunity to take a better look around the room. Horror or horrors, I spot the glamorous blonde mother of four from across the road. "Hi there" she waves, before returning to checking her make-up in the mirror. Swivelling my head ever so slightly I encounter another familiar face, and another, and another. Something about their body language tells me this is not their first time. That's fine. We all have to start somewhere and I've moved on from the stage in my life where losing 2 lbs is going to make all the difference.
On to the warm up and it goes like this: "First we adopt the set position of standing upright with great posture, heels under hips with the toes turned out slightly. The tummy is held in tight, the chest is proud with the shoulders down and back and knees are soft… Then we do shortened versions of each of the main exercises to follow, warming up all the major muscle groups and preparing the body for the workout ahead." So far so good. Instructoro then suggests doubling our weights for targeting the next muscle group. I do, and almost collapse 'whilst adopting the start position.' After about fifteen minutes it becomes less of a workout and more of a clock watching exercise. One excruciating hour later we are released. I all but fall out of the room, carefully avoid the chatter in the changing room, as speech is temporarily beyond me, shower and head for the restaurant, where I fully intend to reward myself with coffee and cake. There is a staircase to be negotiated and as soon as I lift my right foot I just know the class has had the desired effect. I alternatively drift and float until I arrive at the bottom, mercifully still in the upright position. Then, tummy tight and chest proud I deny myself that cake, march past the latte sipping ladies, and collapse into my car.
Tonight I will get my reward. The best wine match for chocolate? Port of course, or impress with the lesser known Banyuls, a red wine made of Grenache in the Languedoc Roussillon region of Southwest France.
Saturday, 20 October 2007
To Boldly Google
Our daughter's education has now begun in earnest, and suddenly we are all thrown into a new milieu, that of National School (State run primary school). Having mastered early starts (sort of), healthy lunches, school books and schoolbags, I am now free to concentrate on getting to know the mothers whose company I am going to be keeping for the next eight years. That's what I think. It's all very well to discuss how your daughter is doing in school, or what extra curricular activities she is pursuing, but as to their own lives, well that's another story, and seemingly not one that's open for discussion. Having sussed out and eliminated child minders and nannies I try making a few small inroads, taking care to approach a different mother, or group of mothers, each time. I don't get very far, but let me clarify that this is not a military exercise, just a hopeful attempt to find a few like-minded people, with whom I can move beyond the superficial.
The superficial is all around - car park full of SUVs, toned bodies leading up to crease-free faces, immaculate grooming, daughters in designer anoraks. It is abundantly clear that we live in a small pocket affected only by one aspect of our booming economy - rising property prices. Therefore fewer families are moving into the area and we remain immune to many of the challenges affecting education in modern Ireland. And so, when handed the contact list for junior infants, I felt like I imagine Fionn mac Cumhaill must have felt when he first tasted the Salmon of Knowledge. From now on I too can stand in dutiful silence at collection time because, with the information provided, I don't have to ask any questions. I can find out all I need to know online.
After several days deliberation I decided that blogging is morally superior to googling. And so I pinned the contact list on our notice board and resolved to refer to it only when arranging a playdate, the modern day replacement for spontaneous playtime - sadly no longer an option for 21st century children. But curiosity did get the better of me and I decided to take a test case. Because of what I've written so far my options are clearly limited and so Mr Q and Wine Goose fell under the spotlight.
The superficial is all around - car park full of SUVs, toned bodies leading up to crease-free faces, immaculate grooming, daughters in designer anoraks. It is abundantly clear that we live in a small pocket affected only by one aspect of our booming economy - rising property prices. Therefore fewer families are moving into the area and we remain immune to many of the challenges affecting education in modern Ireland. And so, when handed the contact list for junior infants, I felt like I imagine Fionn mac Cumhaill must have felt when he first tasted the Salmon of Knowledge. From now on I too can stand in dutiful silence at collection time because, with the information provided, I don't have to ask any questions. I can find out all I need to know online.
After several days deliberation I decided that blogging is morally superior to googling. And so I pinned the contact list on our notice board and resolved to refer to it only when arranging a playdate, the modern day replacement for spontaneous playtime - sadly no longer an option for 21st century children. But curiosity did get the better of me and I decided to take a test case. Because of what I've written so far my options are clearly limited and so Mr Q and Wine Goose fell under the spotlight.
Mr Q is not necessarily the corporate hotshot he has led me to believe for years. Instead he could conceivably be spending all those extra hours, not in the office, but commuting to Clare where he is a successful county hurler. Or maybe he's really a freelance musician, available for drum sessions at lower than normal fees. The possibilities are endless... But persistence pays and after mousing through several pages I do eventually find the profile that fits the physique.
Wine Goose stars in 'Home and Away.' How glamorous. Where does she find the time? Failing that she could be leading an altogether duller life and recently have won a printmaking award in a midlands town. Then a golden nugget, I find out where she went to secondary school. People from outside Ireland who have spent a long time in the country often observe how important this seems to be to us. With good reason. Nothing gives us the ability to form an instant mental picture of the person we're dealing with that their school. I won't take this further today but it is a theory that demands an entire blog - comments welcome.
Search a little further and I can find out when they bought their current home, and how much they paid. Wine Goose is no techie, and all this information was gathered using very basic methods of research. What purpose does it serve? Information is power, as long as you don't let any of it slip.
If you're planning a traditional Halloween dinner of bacon and colcannon, why not skip the wine and go for the best match with this meal - a glass of milk. Can't do it, then nip out to your local wine shop and search the lower shelves for a bottle of Gruner Veltliner. The herbaceous and grassy tinges will bring out the meat's flavours and perfectly complement the parsley sauce, €13.99.
Sunday, 14 October 2007
Harp Bar moment
Mr Q and I dined out recently at what restaurant reviewers nowadays describe as a 'neighbourhood restaurant'. I may be wrong, but my understanding of this term is a suburban restaurant, usually without any distinguishing decor, cuisine, wine list etc, that caters for people living in the immediate area, who will happily put up with the lack of glamour in return for comfort and convenience - an enjoyable meal out, not too pricey, and none of the hassle associated with travelling into town. On any given Saturday night, fellow diners will generally fall into the same socio-economic grouping and there will be lots of discreet nodding by the likes of Mr Q to fellow professionals, and the likes of Wine Goose to faces she recognises from the school run.
Most married couples on nights out 'a deux' do have occasional lulls in conversation and here I can fill these lulls by earwigging on parallel discussions i.e. how well Child A is doing on the school rugby team and how Child B is likely to get the lead part in the school play this year. And so, it was with great delight on my part, that on this occasion we were placed at a table next to a pair of Disco Ball clad ladies on a big night out. Homogeneous Blonde Southsiders both (the kind of girl that most men like Mr Q end up marrying), they looked liked they were getting up to leave as we arrived. But something persuaded them to park their derrieres and order another bottle of wine. A fruity little red, my ears were pricked.
I expected scandal, and I got it. Cheating husbands, affairs, names named. Even Mr Q could not avoid overhearing their now too-loud chatter, and for most of the meal we did manage to keep up a good flow of conversation, in a valiant attempt to shield the ladies from the eyes and ears of the entire dining room. Then, like in all the best novels, the evening drew to its inevitable conclusion and the adulteress uttered a name we both recognised. Our simultaneous sharp intake of breath awoke them from their reverie and they dashed outside for a cure-all cigarette, their wine bottle now empty. We left the restaurant soon after and repaired to a local hostelry for a nightcap, only to see them stumble in moments later.
There's a very fine line between ordering a second bottle and going home. Wine Goose and all her geese friends have crossed it many times, usually with exceptional results! But if it's revelation time, surely it's better to cross that line well away from home, or any resemblance of home. Those ladies might have travelled out of their local area, but they really should have stayed on that bus and opted instead for a noisy pizzeria in the city centre.
Back in the last century, before we were all so liberated and liberal, I had a friend who handed out some very good advice to another friend. This as a result of her showing up in her local pub with a man who should have been elsewhere, and being surprised when they bumped into mutual acquaintances. What, he said, were you thinking of, taking him there? You should have gone to the Harp Bar on O'Connell Street.
Obvious in hindsight.
For Sunday dinner this week the Q family enjoyed a delicious roast leg of lamb, served with roast veg and potatoes, accompanied by Chateau Beaumont 2004, a Cru Bourgeois from the Haut Medoc. Classic vanilla, cassis and blackcurrants on the nose. Importantly for goose, not too tannic on the palate, smooth and well balanced with lots of fruit. Widely available, from €16.99.
Most married couples on nights out 'a deux' do have occasional lulls in conversation and here I can fill these lulls by earwigging on parallel discussions i.e. how well Child A is doing on the school rugby team and how Child B is likely to get the lead part in the school play this year. And so, it was with great delight on my part, that on this occasion we were placed at a table next to a pair of Disco Ball clad ladies on a big night out. Homogeneous Blonde Southsiders both (the kind of girl that most men like Mr Q end up marrying), they looked liked they were getting up to leave as we arrived. But something persuaded them to park their derrieres and order another bottle of wine. A fruity little red, my ears were pricked.
I expected scandal, and I got it. Cheating husbands, affairs, names named. Even Mr Q could not avoid overhearing their now too-loud chatter, and for most of the meal we did manage to keep up a good flow of conversation, in a valiant attempt to shield the ladies from the eyes and ears of the entire dining room. Then, like in all the best novels, the evening drew to its inevitable conclusion and the adulteress uttered a name we both recognised. Our simultaneous sharp intake of breath awoke them from their reverie and they dashed outside for a cure-all cigarette, their wine bottle now empty. We left the restaurant soon after and repaired to a local hostelry for a nightcap, only to see them stumble in moments later.
There's a very fine line between ordering a second bottle and going home. Wine Goose and all her geese friends have crossed it many times, usually with exceptional results! But if it's revelation time, surely it's better to cross that line well away from home, or any resemblance of home. Those ladies might have travelled out of their local area, but they really should have stayed on that bus and opted instead for a noisy pizzeria in the city centre.
Back in the last century, before we were all so liberated and liberal, I had a friend who handed out some very good advice to another friend. This as a result of her showing up in her local pub with a man who should have been elsewhere, and being surprised when they bumped into mutual acquaintances. What, he said, were you thinking of, taking him there? You should have gone to the Harp Bar on O'Connell Street.
Obvious in hindsight.
For Sunday dinner this week the Q family enjoyed a delicious roast leg of lamb, served with roast veg and potatoes, accompanied by Chateau Beaumont 2004, a Cru Bourgeois from the Haut Medoc. Classic vanilla, cassis and blackcurrants on the nose. Importantly for goose, not too tannic on the palate, smooth and well balanced with lots of fruit. Widely available, from €16.99.
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